Something Something Grand Final

In 1997 I saw my first AFL game, seeing Essendon beat Richmond in front of nearly 60,000 people at the MCG. As I sat there in the Southern Stand with my dad and sister in the Melbourne sunshine I knew I wanted to see more of it. When we got back to Canberra I'd decided I wanted to see the biggest game of all, the AFL Grand Final, no matter who was playing. So, 15 year-old me rang Ticketek.

"Can I help you?"

"I'd like a ticket to the AFL Grand Final please."

"Excuse me?"

"The AFL Grand Final. How much are tickets?"

There was a pause while the operator maneuvered her thoughts, like a kindly nurse breaking bad news to a slow child, and explained why that was impossible. Tickets were supplied to the participating teams, members of the MCC, AFL members, sponsors etc etc. Basically there was going to be a party. A really good one, it's just that you aren't invited. Sorry.

I was defeated, but the dream wasn't over: one day I'd sit in the crowd on that big day.

Over the next 17 years the Grand Finals came and went, until this year. In July my wife (bless her) just booked flights and refundable accommodation, and of course the Swans won their Preliminary Final. It was all set.

Except for the tickets, which were always going to be an issue. Because we knew we'd be away for much of the year and would only be able to see a few games, we got the Bronze 3-game memberships. This meant we had no chance at all of getting a ticket through the Swans ballot, although we tried that process anyway.

And failed.

A work colleague, being from Sydney and knowing little about the AFL (or much else, incidently - this is a guy who swore that Justin Bieber was discovered by John Lennon) couldn't understand why it was so difficult. After all, he'd gone to the NRL Grand Final the year before without any trouble at all. I explained that compared to the AFL grand final, the NRL equivalent has the draw of a high school cross country carnival. I don't mean that in a snooty, looking down my nose way - I'm as much a fan of Rugby Union as AFL, so I can't exactly poke fun at a sport for attracting no attention.

As Facebook lit up with posts along the lines of "Anyone a member of the MCG and not using their GF ticket? Puh-leeease can I have it??" we knew that we'd have to be resourceful. A friend in need is a friend indeed, but a friend in need of a Grand Final ticket is a pest. So I became a pest, and called on some help.

Help arrived in the form of well-connected friends, and through their help and the liberation of many, many dollars we had two tickets to not only the Grand Final, but a fancy lunch function hosted by the Melbourne Football Club.

We arrived in Melbourne Friday evening and went straight to our accommodation in South Yarra. Feeling like a drink and a walk to see what the atmosphere was like we headed off along Toorak Road. Sarah, wondering where all the people were, asked if we were going the right way. "No worries", I said, trying to sound like I knew what I was talking about (I had lived in Melbourne for 7 years, albeit on the other side of town). "Chapel Street is where it's at. Just you see."

South Yarra Going All Out Decorating For the Game

And then we turned the corner onto Chapel St. Tumbleweed rolled by, accompanied by the sound of crickets. I'm not sure where the crowds were, but we eventually came across an Irish pub happy to charge us more than $10 for a schooner. Isn't Sydney supposed to have the Cost of Living Allowance? Never mind - we weren't here for a Friday night in Melbourne, we were here for the Grand Final.

Grand Final Day 2014

We stepped out of our hotel at around 9:00am, to get our tickets before meeting up with my mate Pilko in Richmond. Our hotel wasn't given enough respect by the cabbies to have a taxi rank (to be fair, it felt more like a halfway house than somewhere you would choose to stay, although it was easily the most affordable option). So we walked around the corner where there were cabs lining up outside the Como, just in time to see half the Swans players exit the building and head up Chapel St. It looked exactly like they were going to stroll up to the MCG on foot, which may explain their later performance.

Swans Players Starting Trek to MCG. (Last time many of them were seen all day)

At 9:30am - five full hours before the game - the MCG is lightly buzzing. Fans in both colours are mixing in the sunshine, people are selling Footy Records as thick as phone directories, and picking up tickets. We picked up our ticket pack despite it being initially lost and headed to Richmond. 

It wouldn't have been brekky with Pilko without him coming up with lines like "these new pyramid tea bags are great and all, but can you make a tea bag rocket out of them?" Really makes you think. Pilko goes to the Grand Final pretty much every year with his brothers. Must be great being an MCC member!

We walked back to the MCG through throngs of young guys drinking beer. One group sang Tigerland, supporting the theory that Richmond fans support their team no matter the circumstances. Near the ground Hawthorn's club song was being played by a girl on bagpipes as well as over speakers, except completely out of sync with each other.

Feeling quite supercilious we made our way to the Hans Ebling Room in the Ponsford Stand, where our function was to be held, and settled down with a glass of bubbles. There were plenty of corporate guests in the room but we were seated with a very nice group of Hawthorn and Melbourne fans, mostly related.

Until 1:30 we were fed and listen to gusts Taylor Walker from the Crows, who spoke pretty candidly on the coaching issues in Adelaide, and Stevie J from Geelong, who talks about sledging among other things. All the while the sound coming from the ground increases slowly with the growing crowd, and for the first time you aware of the gravity of the event.

Stevie J

We were then shown to our seats, lest we miss out on Ed Sheeren and Tom Jones, who I thought were both serviceable (but what would I know?). Olivia Newton-John sang the national anthem while I looked around, soaking up the atmosphere. It's a cliche to say the atmosphere was indescribable, but it was so I'll just say it was amazing and was something I'll always remember.

Swans Still In The Game At This Stage (Photo Courtesy L. Rees)

From the opening bounce the Swans had the slight edge for what must have been all of 8-10 minutes, and led two goals to one. It was a great 10 minutes. Then it was Hawthorn's turn to have the run of play, but selfishly didn't hand back the momentum until the final siren. At quarter time, down 35-15, there was already a sense of desperation, which by midway through the second quarter had turned into resignation. Which in a way was merciful - if you're going to lose at least you can relax and enjoy the occasion, and we did.

I don't really have feelings one way or another for Hawthorn. I can't understand why anyone would willingly choose a team that wears brown and yellow if they didn't need to, but they were not smug in victory and I was happy for them, or at least not resentful of their win.

Ignore The Scoreboard!

We watched the players celebrate with each other and their families, and then the formalities before having a final complimentary drink in the back room. I had been approaching the day as though it would be my one and only Grand Final day, and I felt pretty satisfied with having been there, despite the result. It's just a shame my one Grand Final would be one where only one team showed up.